Divorce and Remarriage

Message / Question hi Dave, you said that – the real issue isn’t divorce, it’s remarriage after divorce – I’ve always wondered about this. I think the church has it wrong on sex too. Why is sex with a prostitute wrong? Isn't it only wrong if you're married – i.e. in adultery situations? this is a serious question by the way – cheers

Response:

Jesus said that God allowed divorce because of the hardness of people’s hearts – it’s certainly not what God wants, nor is it always the best thing to do, but God does say that there can be just causes and He will allow divorce. In our 21st century Western culture, marriage has become extremely devalued and divorce has become so easy. We live in a throwaway society (we don’t fix the element in the jug any more, we just throw the old one out and buy a whole new jug. Same seems to go with marriage – when things are difficult, we find it easier to throw away than to fix. I don’t believe that’s what God has in mind though. We should do all that we can to preserve marriage but, if we reach a point where reconciliation is impossible, then the option of divorce may end up being taken because of our hard heart (I’m not being harsh here, that’s the description that Jesus used!). I hate to see marriages fail and families break up, but sometimes it is inevitable. For example, no woman should be the subject of her husband’s constant physical abuse, no child should be subjected to sexual abuse by one of their parents – these type of actions will inevitably lead to family breakdown and probable divorce – and yes, as a pastor I have advised women to leave a violent husband. The question that the church faces for the Christian is about their right to re-marry after divorce.

This issue of re-marriage is fairly involved and the argument, both social and theological, very complex. It is this question that causes the greatest angst in the Christian community and there is no easy answer. Without entering too deeply into debate, I think that it is reasonable to say that most Bible scholars would accept that there are certain circumstances in which a divorcee is able to re-marry quite legitimately before God.

On the other matter that you raise re prostitution, I have addressed this issue in a number of replies to questions. I believe that Biblically, any sex outside of the context of Biblical marriage (i.e. the lifelong union of one man and one woman) is wrong. Thus whether a man (or woman) who has sex with a prostitute is married or single is quite irrelevant – it is simply the fact that the sex that they engaged in was outside of the confines of a married relationship that makes it wrong from a Christian / Biblical perspective.