Forgiveness

Message / Question

What is the purpose of forgiveness, if people say that there are worldly consequences to what we do, and we forgive but do not forget. They are nice loopholes, but pretty impractical. Isn't the idea of forgiveness, that it is most difficult in certain circumstances (eg rape, murder, theft)? eg you steal from me, I forgive you but I'm going to remember this and bring it up each time I talk to you, AND I'm also going to sue you for your every dime. Sounds like worldliness to me!

Response:

There is a huge difference between forgiveness and consequence. Forgiveness is to do with relationship, consequence primarily has to do with law. When we come to God and seek forgiveness, the Bible tells us that God is faith and just and that He forgives. However, God’s forgiveness doesn’t undo what an individual may have done and the consequence that flows from it. For example, a girl who falls pregnant outside of marriage can find absolute forgiveness for her deed, but the consequence of her action doesn’t change, she will still be pregnant and ultimately give birth. The guy who caused her to fall pregnant is in the same position. He can find forgiveness from God for his action, but still must face the fact that he is now a father and has responsibilities towards his child. I have a friend whose car was hit by a drunk driver, instantly killing his wife, his baby and his mother-in-law. He forgave the driver who was responsible for the 3 deaths, but his forgiveness didn’t change the consequence for the guilty driver – he still went to gaol. When it comes to one person forgiving another for personal offence committed against them, then true forgiveness would include putting the matter away and not bringing it up again and if someone is suing another, then it would seem unlikely that could have forgiven them. Having said that however, forgiveness does not necessarily restore trust. I may forgive you your deed, but you would have to earn my trust and respect again. For example, if I was going away for a few days and you had volunteered to feed my dog, put out the garbage bin and generally keep an eye on the place, but when I returned I found that the dog hadn’t been fed and the garbage hadn’t been put out, I may forgive you but I would not be likely to trust you to do those things next time I went away.